Friday, October 3, 2008

A letter to my Mom



Happy Birthday Mama. Today you would be 60 years old. This is the 6th birthday I have had to celebrate without you, and though it should be getting easier, I'm not sure it ever will.

I showed your picture to Nathan today. I made sure to tell him it was grandma. He said, "Pretty", and touched your face. It was all I could do to keep from breaking into tears right then and there. I want him to know you, and it kills me that he can only do that through the stories that I will tell him. Stories of a woman so amazing, that I can't put into words everything I want him to know. I only hope that I can show him the wonderful soul you were by being the mother to him that you were to me. Always there to kiss the boo boos, read with him, laugh with him, smooch him and show him that his mama loves him more than he will ever know. I sing him the same songs that I remember falling asleep to when I was small and I can sometimes feel you there with me. Rocking my sweet child to sleep, I am reminded of the precious gift I have been given, but also the one that was taken from me too soon.

I did this evening what I always do on your birthday. I looked through old pictures to find my favorite ones of you. Most of my favorites are from when I was a child and before you got sick. You looked so young and full of life, so beautiful and hopeful. Even now when I remember you, it seems that my memories drift back to the time when you were the happiest. It saddens me that I don't have more pictures of you in the last couple of years before you died. The ones that I have I will cherish, but I will never loose the picture of you in my mind.

Please continue to watch over me and be close when I need you the most.




You are my sunshine, my only sunshine.

You make me happy when skies are grey.

You'll never know, dear, how much I love you.

Please don't take my sunshine away.




7 comments:

  1. :( Beautifully said. It doesn't seem to ever get easier no matter how much time has gone by. All we can do is remember the time when they were with us and live our lives making them proud of us in our adulthood. ~ Joyce

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  2. It is amazing how much you look just like her. She's beautiful. Nathan will know her everytime he looks into your eyes or your smile. She's there.

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  3. This one made em cry... I sing that song to my girls and I can't imagine ever having to leave them. I absolutely love the picture of her when she was pregnant! Is the baby you?

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  4. What a beautiful tribute to your Mama. I'm sure she is smilin' big up in Heaven!

    Blessings,

    Ohilda

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  5. Wow, what a great post! I lost my mom too...it's been 16 years for me though. I have to say I have missed her more this year than ever though. Being a mom just makes you realize the real sacrifices your own mom made and leaves me with tons of unanswered questions. Sad.
    I sing you are my sunshine every night to Luca and some nights it really hits home and I can barely keep it together, probably due to my once again pregnant brain and raging hormones!

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  6. Absolutely beautiful tribute to your dear mother! My mom's birthday was also October 3rd!! Their anniversary was Oct 4th. I sing "you are my sunshine" to my son every night before bed and have since the day he was born. Thank you for this :)

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What you talkin' bout Willis??