Sunday, March 8, 2009

THAT kid

Yup, I've got that kid. Which one you ask. The one who crazily runs around with boundless energy that is mind blowing to watch. The one who exhausts you just by watching him flit from place to place. Oh yes, I almost forgot, he's also the kid who hits. He hits other kids. He hits me and my husband. Basically, if you are in this boy's arm's reach, you could get decked. I HATE it!It is driving me nuts! I have tried everything from calmly telling him no while holding his hands and getting eye contact to timeouts, to telling him he hurt mommy and it makes her sad, to yelling, to using a firm tone but not yelling. I'd stand on my head and do the coo coo dance if I thought it would work. I make him say sorry after he does it and give hugs and kisses, but he is just not getting it. Now I know he's not even 2 yet and he is expressing his frustration, boredom, yada yada since he can't express himself completely verbally, but enough is enough. I need advice. I do not get offended easily and will take anything you say to heart, so fire away. No, seriously.
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His antics put a blemish on what would have otherwise been a fun weekend. We went to Liz's son Jack's birthday party and I had to follow Nate around like the playground Nazi to make sure he didn't strike (pun intended) when I wasn't looking. The only thing I hate more than that kid behavior is that mom who lets "precious" run around attacking other kids and doesn't do anything about it. So I tailed him and tried to stop him form hitting kids and drinking every juice cup he happened upon. After about an hour I was exhausted and finally got him to stand still for 10 minutes while I blew bubbles for the kids to pop. Liz and I have always talked about how high energy our kids are (Tommy and Nate) and she hadn't seen him in a while so I don't think she knew quite what to expect. She watched him bounce around like a pin ball for about an hour and then said, "You win" to which my bewildered self replied , "That is a contest I really don't want to win". Oh and did I mention while I was talking to Liz and holding Nate he hauled off and smacked me in the face. Yeah, that wasn't embarrassing or anything. Needless to say it was time to go and we went home and I turned him over to daddy because I had had my fill for the time being.**********************************************************
Today we went to a traveling zoo and carnival at the convention center with my friend Joelle and her son Tyler (and the rest of the family too). Things were going great, they were looking at the animals, Nate had ridden a couple of kiddie rides, the 4 of us rode and elephant and we were going to put them on a car ride together. I'm an idiot. I know my son's tendency to hit, why the hell did I not insist they ride in different cars?? Wishful thinking I guess. The ride operator took too long to start the ride, Nate got restless and started swinging his arm and hit Tyler not once but 4 times, in the FACE! Joelle and I ran back in to the ride and swooped a crying Tyler and a confused Natey out of the car. I was so upset and reprimanded him. Tyler was screaming and I brought Nate over to him and said, "You did this! You made Tyler cry. You hurt him". The look on his face was the only thing that showed me he understood even a little bit of his actions since he usually thinks it's funny when he hits.
This was right before the incident. We took Nate aside to get a change of scenery and have a snack and he was acting sad and very cuddly. I hate having to reprimand him like that but I can't have him hitting everyone. We ended up meeting back up with them after our little break but I was just done and it was getting late anyway so we headed out.
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The hardest part about him doing things like that is he is not always that kid. He can be so sweet and caring. He gives kids (and us) hugs and kisses and is just as happy as can be. He is a wonderful eater and and sleeps like a champ. He's smart as a whip, but I think that's part of the issue. I don't know if it is possible to keep him entertained to the point where he doesn't get bored or frustrated. He always has to be going and doing and, before you judge, this kids gets NO sugar. I barely give him juice. Please tell me the magical fix or that he'll grow out of this phase if I just keep being consistent in my reaction. I want my sweet kid to be what people see, not that kid.

11 comments:

  1. Awwww...you don't have to be embarrassed at all. Natey was a hoot - we all loved him and his energy, and cousin Matthew LOVED Natey chasing him around!!! He really is a sweetie and it is so obviously not bad Mommy or bad boy, just a fun phase that some of us must endure.

    My only advice would be to be consistent with the reprimand and keep up with what you are doing. He was so quick to apologize and give hugs (which were very cute), I have no doubt that before you know it he will have some other fun trick up his sleeve for you!!!

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  2. Best advice is to stay consistant with the consequences. It sounds to me like you are doing everything right...it is a phase, & he will move onto something better soon:) They always do:)

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  3. T went through a pinching stage. Just like you, I tried it all. Nothing seemed to work but time. She eventually moved past that phase as quickly as she had moved in to it. Hang in there, you are doing all you can :)

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  5. Guess what? Nate is not THAT kid because you are not THAT mom. THAT kid's mom is clueless and has just given up. You haven't.

    The hitting, biting, pinching, pushing, screaming - it's all normal. The best thing you can do is pick ONE punishment and be consistent with it. Corban used to hit and kick me. When he did, I would plop him in his room and close the door if we were at home. If not, I'd buckle him in his carseat and shut the door. Being removed from ME and the situation was not something he wanted. He's back to hitting again (yay us) only this time he's using his fist. When he hits, he gets put in time out for 2 minutes and then we have a brief chat and he has to go apologize. It's so hard with kids this age because they're only just beginning to comprehend what's going on, yk? But with consistency and repition, they'll learn.

    Make sure whoever has Natey during the day is being consistent with the punishment for hitting, too. He'll just get confused about whether or not he can do it if he can at one place and not another, yk?

    Sorry hon - it'll get better. Promise. Few things are more embarassing and infuriating than standing there and having your kid haul off and smack you. It takes every ounce of self control you have not to fling the kid across the room and scream "What the HELL?!" I know. I feel ya.

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  6. or...on the bright side.

    maybe that kid will grow up to be this kid [insert picture of george foreman]

    and i don't mean to insinuate that natey will grow up to be an old black man...i mean, a championship boxer and a seller of stupid products that he shamelessly endorses on informercials.

    there...that doesn't sound so bad, does it??

    nah...he'll get through it. so will we!

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  7. consistency is the key. Pick a consequence and stick with it for pretty much everything for a while.

    I have a child like this. Gage. He is 3 now and we are in occupational therapy, speech therapy, and he is on meds. (we have a strong ADHD history, as well as autism, and he has a sensory disorder). Im not saying any of that is wrong with your little guy, just that I definitely understand where you are coming from!

    I dont know how to fix it other than being consistent, and patient. You mentioned he was lashing out when the ride didnt start fast enough. Frustration when he feels like he has no control or cant communicate his thoughts well will make him do this more.

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  8. Brea went through a HORRIBLE biting stage. The best thing I did was put her in time out each time and stick with it.. Or I would fake cry because I told her it hurt my feelings when she did mean things like that. Not sure if she grew out of it or if she learned her lesson.. Either way she dosen't do it anymore. Good luck sweetie!!!!!

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  9. Oh I so feel your pain...literally, I am living with an 18 month old abuser! Jordan does the same thing to Joe and I. Fortunately he saves all his violence for us and doesn't beat up other kids! At Jordan's 18 month check up the pediatrician told us everytime he does it, scoop him up and take him into another room, scold him, then put him down and walk away. We have been doing that with some improvement..although it is a pain to stop everything and run into the other room. At first he thought it was fun to go zooming into the other room, now he seems to understand we are mad when we do it.

    Another friend of mine told me the best advice- Never be embarassed to discipline your child. At first when Jordy would do something I would feel like people would think I was too mean if I scolded him, but now I don't worry about it- he is my little terror and I will take care of it as I see fit!

    Good luck! Keep me posted on your progress!

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What you talkin' bout Willis??