Tuesday, August 11, 2009

To Shower or Not to Shower?

I know what you're thinking... Yuck, this girl is disgusting. What do you mean she is debating on whether or not to bathe. Honestly girl, just do it. Wash that funk off ya!
No really. Let's get into the true reason behind this post. I have a hot debate brewing in my circle of friends and I want to hear your opinion on the subject. One of my friends wants to throw me a baby shower for baby girl. I feel a little uncomfortable about this. First of all , this is baby number 2. Isn't it just un-PC to have a second baby shower? I mean, I have all of the big stuff that I got for Natey so, I wouldn't even register. Still, I feel weird about it. Does it look so selfish and greedy to have a shower to celebrate a second child? On the other hand, Natey got a party to celebrate his impending arrival, so why shouldn't she?

Ugh, I am so torn. What do you think? Do you have any alternative ideas to a "shower". Should I just have a party before she comes without the pressure of gifts? Every girl loves a party, and this one is no different. Help me out, you wise, multi-kiddo'd women!! Even if you don't have multiple children, or any for that matter, let me know your thoughts on this whole thing. I want all different perspectives!


  1. I totally think you should have a "Girls Rock!" party instead. If people want to give something, have them give to your local womans shelter, because every woman started out as someone's baby girl, right. What a better way to honor the life of your little girl? Some folks may still bring presents for you, 'cuz shopping for girls is just plain F-U-N so don't deny them that joy. You could theme the heck out of it with appropriate music - "Girls just want to have fun" for example, you could even try and force Aaron and Natey into a little drag for you. That would be AWESOME! ;)

    That's my two cents!


  2. I think it is a fun idea to have a party - but ask your friend to emphasize in the invitations that it is to celebrate your little one, not to get gifts. Maybe ask if guests really want to bring gifts to donate to a favorite charity in the name of "Baby Girl" S. Or maybe diapers/wipes only. I think it is ok as long as it is clear that you aren't trying to just get more stuff (which I know you aren't...but others might question)

  3. My friend had a 2nd shower for her baby boy (had a girl the first time) and I don't think anyone thought it was weird!! She did register, but just at a local cloth diapering place. So she got a lot of her cloth diapers, but also lots of boy clothers. Seriously, everyone will LOVE spoiling your little girl with clothes, and won't you need them anyway??? I think it's totally PC when you're having a baby of the opposite gender. In fact, my friend ended up having several showers... her staff threw her a diapers only shower. And it wasn't weird! But I know what you mean.

  4. I didn't have a shower when I had Zoe or Leo, but I did have one with Teage. I know it was my 4th kid, but people were feeling bad that I was not getting one. And frankly, we needed stuff for the little one. My other boys were winter babies, and Teage is a summer baby. We didn't have a thing for him. So we asked for summer clothes or winter clothes for when he gets bigger, as well as diapers. I felt a little weird about it, but we were saving up for our move, and just didn't have the extra money to get clothes ourselves. The shower was fun and good way to spend sometime with the girls thinking about Teage and spending time with them before we moved.

  5. YES! Have a shower for your sweet baby. My opinion is regardless if you were having a boy (which your not) but every child should be showered with gifts. I had a shower for both my children and both were different in their own way. The things that I did not receive the first time, I did the second go round. If you run out of stuff to register for.. Go with diapers and wipes.. You can never have too many of them. :)

  6. We have alot of babies in our family and always throw a shower for each one, whether it's the 1st or 4th. It's another reason to have a celebration for the little one to come. If you feel bad about the gifts, you can mention that on the invites and offer an alternative. Don't let the thoughts of others worry you too much, just have fun and enjoy!

  7. I've had friends that have gone both ways. I say go for it! Since you already have all the big stuff, you can still go register for the little things in pink. Plus, you'll get a lot of the cute girl clothes!

  8. I say "yes," but not on as big a scale as the first. I'll admit that my first shower was almost too big -- friends that I only saw a couple times a year, my mom's friends, etc. so the second time around I would probably just want my closest friends!

    A girlfriend of mine did a diaper party and she thought it was great. They cooked out and for "admission" you had to bring a bag of diapers.

  9. I don't see anything wrong with it. Just let people know you aren't asking for gifts.

    I had baby showers before Peanut was born and still had all of her stuff. But after the twins were born we had an open house so the babies would be there. My sister did the invitations and actually did include a wish list because we needed twice as much stuff!

  10. I had another shower when AI had my 3rd because all of my things were either given away (we thought we were done) or just plain used to tears. I don't think it's wierd to have another shower at all. People don't have to come if they don't want to. I think the only complaints I knew about with mine were from my sisters. They aren't happy unless they have something to complain about lol.

  11. I am torn because I felt bad having 3 showers...but someone else threw them all & I thought it was a nice gesture to offer the same welcome to all of my children.
    I wouldn't feel bad though because you are having a girl this time. You need girl stuff.
    I say go for it.

  12. Im not a lady, but have been thru this so here is my two cents.

    When Will came along I just assumed that carey would have a shower thrown for her like she did for taylor. Was I WRONG! She informed me that that is not the way it goes nor should it. I asked my mom and she said the same thing, so did my sister, as well as well as Careys mom. If you ask me though, other than this unwriten rule that its a feaux pa or whatever, I say go for it!

    If someone want to throw a party for you where others can give themselves the gift of giving, then I say go for it. Im just not PC either on this obvioulsy. LOL

    Its probably because im a guy and just dont get it. LOL

    Love and Prayers,


  13. Ya know, when I had my 2nd we lived in a different city than where we were when I had my first. So the friends in our new town threw me a shower for baby #2 even though it wans't my first. I didn't complain! The women at the 2nd town wanted to. =0)

    I say go for it. Don't make THEM miss out on BLESSING you.

  14. I say every baby needs a party to celebrate their entrance into the world. I have 5 kids so I had many different kinds and types of showers, church, friends, everyone I possible know, family, work friends, and only people close to me. I say have an all out bash for baby #1 and just close personal friends for every baby after that. Those kind of showers are more fun and personally satisfying. Usually those are the ones that would get a gift for the new baby anyway, so I say, invite them all together at once and have some cake and punch. HAHA

  15. My sister-in-law had a friend throw a "sprinkle" for her second child instead of a shower. The main items that were given to her were diapers in different sizes and wipes along with a small gift. I thought it was lovely. :)

  16. I have had "showers" for all 3 boys. Although there was 6y difference between the 2 oldest. With the baby, we had a "sprinkle", which is basically a shower but they bring the basics - diapers, wipes, onesies etc. That being said, if memory serves me you are having a girl and you already have a boy. In which case, you TOTALLY get a second full fledged shower! No sprinkles for you! Shower all the way! After all you can't be expected to dress her in BOY'S CLOTHES! *shiver* ;)

  17. I have had "showers" for all 3 boys. Although there was 6y difference between the 2 oldest. With the baby, we had a "sprinkle", which is basically a shower but they bring the basics - diapers, wipes, onesies etc. That being said, if memory serves me you are having a girl and you already have a boy. In which case, you TOTALLY get a second full fledged shower! No sprinkles for you! Shower all the way! After all you can't be expected to dress her in BOY'S CLOTHES! *shiver* ;)

  18. I don't have any kids yet (I've only been married a month and a half! :) but I have heard of something called a "sprinkle."


    I'm sure you can find a lot more information about it on the web, that was just the first one that came up to kind of explain it.

    It might be fun to do that so you can still celebrate your baby girl without making people feel like you are expecting a ton of stuff again. I think its good to do something so you can at least get some girly stuff and girl clothes! I'm sure friends would love to just bring a couple girly onesies.

    You could also do a sprinkle and have the invitation tell everyone to bring one cute outfit. That way no one feels pressured to get a big gift and you can get some baby girl clothes. I have also seen people have each person bring one outfit for each month or age range depending on how many guests.

    Okay sorry this is so long, just all my ideas. I love party planning so sometimes I get a little carried away :)

  19. I like Ashley's idea. If there are people who don't like it, they don't have to come!
    Oh, and I totally thought you weren't taking a shower!!!

  20. Guilty of not reading the other comments. Psh.

    Have a shower. Someone threw me a shower with all 4 of mine and I generally just asked for diapers and wipes. Those suckas are spendy, yo. ;-) Besides, you need girly stuff even if you don't need the big stuff, right? And if they want to throw you a party then let them. If people have issues then they can stay home and suck their snot. Who needs em?

  21. I will be having a shower for each and every one of my babies!

    I've heard the second shower called a "sprinkle" where you just register for the essentials but you are having a different gender so you will need lots of girly stuff!

    Showers are a fun way to get together so go for it!

  22. I know different areas of the country have different rules when it comes to multiple baby showers. Here, in PA, you don't get a second shower unless your kids are more than 5 years apart! That being said, diaper/clothing parties are becoming more common. On the invitation, they just emphasize that guests need not bring a gift, but if they do, stick to diapers/wipes and/or clothing!

  23. You're kidding right? Every new baby deserves their own welcome party. And it's all about celebrating the little miracle that is your baby girl.

    For my sister's Gracie... we held the shower the day before her planned delivery. We knew there was a very good chance she would not survive.

    People who came, celebrated and cried and prayed with us.

    And every gift that was given, was gratefully given to the Crisis Pregnancy Center in town.

    I love the idea of a "sprinkle" - but come on... you're having your first GIRL and she could use all the cute stuff anyone wants to give :)

  24. I am sure I am late on this post, but I had one with my daughter, who was my second. I think for different genders, it is ok, as long as someone offers to throw the shower. As far as more showers for the same gender, I think that is not ok. :)


What you talkin' bout Willis??