Tuesday, August 24, 2010


It is inevitable, but to be honest I really suck at it. I am an anxious person by nature and the more things that remain constant in my life, the better I can handle stressful situations.  I still remember the visit to my midwife, when I was pregnant with Nate, where she told me it was possible I could be delivered by any of the doctors in the practice. I instantly felt the blood drain from my face and my chest tighten. I'm sure this must just be common knowledge to most, but I didn't realize it was even remotely possible until that moment. She must have seen the intense look of panic wave over me because she agreed to special me and gave me a slip that guaranteed her to be there for my delivery. I am convinced that, because I had that one constant, one factor I could count on in the unknown of my first child birth, I was able to make it through with a natural birth.

After Nate was born, I found myself in this anxious state again trying to figure out who would care for him when I went back to work. I toured several big day cares, which made me even more nervous. I knew that wasn't what was right for him, or me. The thought of one person caring for 4 infants at a time baffled me. What if one was crying, or hungry, or dirty what about the other 3?? I didn't want my baby to be sitting in a bouncy seat all day because there wasn't enough one on one care for him. I was relieved to find a home day care situation for him. She cared for her twin boys who were almost 2 and my friend's infant who was 4 months older than Nate and him. It has been a great fit from the start. Nate had sleeping issues, she was able to spend the time with him to work through them. She'd carry him around in a carrier when he was having a clingy day. He got his own room to sleep in and became a wonderful sleeper. He has been there since he was 3 months old. He is know 3 years and 3 months old.

I have been toying with the idea of pre-school. He is such a smart kid but, if left to his own devices, is a bit on the wild side. I'm starting to believe that he really needs the more rigid structure that a school setting provides. I talked to him about it and he seems really excited to "go to school", so why am I so freaked out? Why does it make my stomach churn to think about moving him? I toured 2 schools and the curriculum seems awesome, they are close to my work, they even have infant care if I want to move the baby at some point too. I can't pull the trigger.

The nap time and environment is different, what if he doesn't sleep well?

He's been with his care giver for 3 years, what if he has a hard time adjusting?

What if the 1:8 ratio is too may kids to teachers and he doesn't get enough attention?

Will he make new friends or feel lonely at a new place?

I can't help but wonder in all of my worrying, if it is really concern for him or my inability to handle change that is holding me back.


  1. Change *is* hard. Especially when it involves the care of our babies.

    My son (now 12) went only to two small home daycares. He only switched because we moved to a new city. Both were wonderful caregivers, but I honestly feel like he may have been missing out.

    My daughter (5 and starting kindergarten this year) has been at a daycare centre since she was about 16 months. I absolutely love that place. For the babies, there were always two educators for six babies under 18 months. And there are always "floaters" who cover breaks and also help out when extra attention is needed. She learned so much (even another language) and she is so much more social and confident than my son was at her age (or even now). It could just be different personalities, but I think the daycare made a big difference.

    Preschool will definitely be an adjustment, but it will also help prepare him for school in ways that a small home daycare can't. Practicing making friends and being in a smaller version of a "class" might be just what he needs to help him fit in well at school.

    All that being said, there are plenty of kids who never go to preschool and still love and fully adjust to "real" school. Good luck with your decision. I'm sure you'll make the best one for your own family. And sorry for being so long-winded! :-)

  2. Hey Kam, hmm it seems to me that you should just go for it! If he doesn't adjust well to the change you can always send him back to home day care, right? I think he would really enjoy meeting new kiddos and learning new things in a structured environment. It might turn out to be the best decision you ever made!

  3. I'm sure you will do what is best for Nate :)

    I don't have kids but my one friend who does is a SAHM, said she'd like to stay home with her daughter and we should all have kids & she will take care of them when we go back to work. I've known her since I was 14...definitely trust her. Hope her offer is still on the table when I have my first baby!

  4. I hear you. I don't like change too much either. The fear of the unknown.
    I always worried about my kids when leaving them too, but they are so much more resilient than we give them credit for.
    I sent all of mine to Montessori. It is to me the best education & learning environment. Even Stunt Man did well and learned to read by the age of 4...not only that he followed the rules *phew* best of all he loved school.
    If you have a Montessori near you...give it a looksy. You might just love it.
    It is different from most preschools, but in a good way. The one I sent all three of my kids too was not as rigid as some Montessori's and incorporated other styles of learning along with the Montessori method...but a great program.
    My nerves are shot about Stunt man starting kindergarten...Yikes. Totally different on the ratio now. I hope he still behaves.

  5. He will love it. I do the same thing, and imagine the worst case scenario, and how often does that ever happen!? It is our mind games..sigh! I think he will love the extra challenge presented to him and thrive! Most parents in your boat find the same thing.

  6. I am going through the same thing! Jordan has been at the day care center at the air force base. It is right down the street from my work. He is switching classes this week b/c his birthday is this weekend. He is in such a good routine, I had to switch it up!

  7. Just remember there is no rush, no deadline to meet, right? So take your time and when the time is right, you'll know and be able to make the decision in confidence.

    I'm not a fan of change either, BTW, but life just pushes it on us sometimes. Hugs, my friend.


  8. I'm right there with ya. Well, not on the preschool front, but on CHANGE. New houses or property, deciding to go back full-time next year, wondering what will happen with daycare, wondering what will happen when Aidan goes to preschool next year (and if we move before then, how will he cope with new speech therapists, etc.)

    Change sucks and I'm so not good at it. So unforatunately, I can't tell you to go for it because I'd be hesitant too. But from what I know of Natey, I think he'll be fine. And he'll probably enjoy himself. He can be wild, but he can also listen, which is quite different from MY child. : )

  9. I really hate change, but the one thing that helps me not go completely crazy in situations like this is to remember that kids are resilient. They will do much better than we will with handling the change, and it's likely at this age they won't even remember the change we made them go through.


What you talkin' bout Willis??