Friday, September 3, 2010

Letters of Intent

Foursons


Dearest Natey,

 You are 3. There is no reason YOU, and not your 9 month old sister, should be the cause of my lack of sleep. While I think you "sneakin'" out of your bed the last 2 nights at 9:30pm and hearing you singing AC/DC's TNT at the top of your lungs while you should be sleeping is slightly comical, it needs to end. You go to bed at 8:00 for a reason. You are a whiny, grumpy mess when you don't get adequate sleep. You are also aware of the "No kids in my bed" policy, so please try to comply. No more climbing into my bed at 2am or 5am  and keep me up with your tossing, turning and kicking. You have a super cool bed. Stay in it.

Sincerely,

Your exhausted mom who just wants some freaking rest!!

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Hey Dunkin,

WTF? I order a medium iced Dunkin Dark with 2 cream and 2 splenda. Please tell me why it tastes different Every. Single. Day! I'm not a coffee making master or anything, but it seems a simple, straightforward process to me! It is getting to the point where I may have to go to the dark side and visit Fourbucks instead of your establishment, or better yet start making my own coffee! Also, I do NOT appreciate your efforts to create more waste by sticking my cup inside of a styrofoam cup. I am getting tired of having to tell you NO STYROFOAM every time I drive thru. It is wasteful and I finish my coffee in about 2 seconds flat, so I'm not worried that my ice is going to melt and dilute the 8 gallons of cream you have put in my drink.

Thanks,

The girl who's about to run from Dunkin'

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Dear Earl,

I'm a  California girl with no prior experience with hurricanes. Please be gentle and leave our area in one piece. We just had a 100 year storm in the spring that caused a lot of flooding and I'm a fan of the current dryness of my basement. If you wish, I will sacrifice my garden to your vortex since I am getting tired of weeding it anyway.

Thankyouverymuch,

East coast transplant who would rather deal with earthquakes


Head on over to Julie's place and jump on the bitching bandwagon. It's good for your soul!

16 comments:

  1. I think I may need to "write" a similar letter to Drew about the sleeping! The last couple of weeks, now that he has figured out the freedom of his toddler bed, he has been coming to get in bed w/us -- first it was in the middle of the night but this week it has been right as I'm getting ready to get up and get ready. My boy who use to sleep 'til 8 or 8:30 is now getting up at 6:30 unless I lay there with him until he falls back to sleep! Not sure what to do, but I know I have to do something before the new one arrives...

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  2. I'm glad to see I'm not the only one with kid sleeping issues lately. This last week Olivia has been doing random crazy wake ups. Though I would agree if she wakes up and starts screaming AC/DC, I would die of laughter!

    I have the same flipping problem with Dunkin and unfortunately they are the only place in our little town to get a coffee.

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  3. Too funny about Dunkin Donuts. Mine doesn't ever taste the same either. Different people that brew the coffee I think. It is crazy. My son didn't let us sleep either last night. Up til midnight and up the night before until 3am with my oldest...said she had a tummy ache but nothing. Ugh. I am exhausted.

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  4. Good for you Kam! Way to get it all out! You are just one hilarious gal!

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  5. Love your letters. I stopped in from Julie's and I am glad I did. Love your blog.

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  6. Oh my gosh, I cracked up at sacrificing your garden. Bwahahahaha, can Earl come and take my entire yard? I mean I know I'm on the Gulf and won't even get a breeze from Earl, but I'm totally willing to contribute to the cause.

    Little Natey sounds like a doll, but even a doll can not mess w/my sleep. I hope he gets his schedule back on track soon- for your sake.

    Thanks for linking up!

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  7. You have an adorable family! I'm not a coffee drinker but I enjoyed your letter to DD! :)

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  8. I wish at times we would get a hurricane. The northeast gets some crazy weather. Hope your son gets back on his schedule soon!

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  9. I just found you from Julie's and I will definitely be back! I am LOL'ing at the thought of your son singing AC/DC in the middle of the night. You have taught that boy right!

    I will be thinking you calm Earl thoughts. I am so glad I live in CO - no earthquakes or hurricanes!

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  10. Ok, what's up with our boys?? Aidan's not climbing into bed with us (THANK GOD!), but I finally caved and stuck him in his crib (which we thankfully hadn't taken down yet) for his nap because he kept getting up and coming downstairs. After 4 times of trekking his butt back up the stairs, into his room, I caved and threw him in the crib. I needed an Aidan break! And sure enough, he took a nice, looong nap.

    But now he's waking up super early. At least he's not peeing through his clothes now. There's always a bright side, I guess.

    Good luck with getting some sleep!

    (p.s. how the heck do you have 123 followers now??? Miss Popular. heehee I keep losing mine... down to 99... oh well.)

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  11. I am still laughing at Natey and singing AC/DC..sorry, it is funny when it isn't mine!
    Hurricanes are not in my experience level either. i am a misquito gal myself, so good luck!

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  12. LOL. To most of that except the kids in the bed thing...But a serious LOL on the ACDC if you are being woken up at least you are getting good tunes out of the deal!

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  13. My local DD makes a better iced coffee than a hot coffee. I still haven't figured that one out yet.

    And, seriously, what is UP with our 3 years old and their crazy sleep patterns? One day they are going to miss the ability to go to bed at 8pm, get a decent nights sleep and wake up refreshed. Don't you wish there was a way to make them understand that? Sleep toddler SLEEP - because later in life when you want too, you can't.

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  14. We are also currently struggling with my 3-yr-old waking up at night. The problem is, so is the baby. So while I thought we were home free and "sleeping through the night," every night it's something. He screams with a nightmare; she wakes up because of...teething? I don't know. It's driving me crazy.

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What you talkin' bout Willis??