Dear FedEx Driver,
While sitting in stop and go traffic on my way home from work I glanced into the open door of your truck. I was taken aback at the fact that you were READING A NEWS PAPER while you were at the wheel. You had a co-worker lounging comfortably in the passenger seat. Maybe next time he can drive while you get your leisure reading in. I don't normally say anything when I see people making a$$hole moves like that, but for some reason I felt compelled. When I rolled down my window and told your buddy that it might be a good idea for you to save your reading for another time, I expected a little embarrassment on your part. A small acknowledgement that you were being an idiot. If someone called me out on that I know I'd be embarrassed, but then again I dont' read while I am piloting my vehicle. I do have to say that my favorite part would have to be when you pulled past me, into the turn lane, and your friend gave me a thumbs up as you flipped me off. That, my friend, was the last straw. I suppose if you are stupid enough to read while you drive, that you are also stupid enough to not realize that the name and phone number of your company is embossed on the side of your truck. I took down your plate number and truck number and promptly called 1-800-go-FedEx to tattle on you. Stick that in your paper and read it.
The lady you don't want to f*&^ with
If you had a face, I would punch you in it. You better tell your friend Weekend to make it up to me.
The woman you kicked around for the last 5 days