Today holds a whole lot of emotions for me.
It has been 10 years since I lost my Papa Al.
It has also been 9 years since I lost my Mama.
Today was the day they told me would be my daughter's birthday, but in tribute to her grandma she was 5 days late.
My mom would have been proud. She was perpetually late. In her own words she was, "Always late but worth the wait". She was right.
I came home to a box of my grandmother's belongings that my uncle sent me.
I wept as I looked through its contents. Pictures, the family Bible and my Gram's collection of blown glass Christmas ornaments that I have adored since she got the first one.
I know this song is about a breakup, but truer words have never been spoken about how I feel today.
Alone and consumed by my loss.
Breakeven -The Script
I'm still alive but I'm barely breathing
Just prayed to a God that I don't believe in
'Cause I got time while she got freedom
'Cause when a heart breaks, no it don't breakeven
Her best days will be some of my worst
She finally met a man that's gonna put her first
While I'm wide awake she's no trouble sleeping
'Cause when a heart breaks, no it don't breakeven, even, no
What am I suppose to do
When the best part of me was always you and
What am I suppose to say
When I'm all choked up and you're okay
I'm falling to pieces, yeah
I'm falling to pieces
They say bad things happen for a reason
But no wise words gonna stop the bleeding
'Cause she's moved on while I'm still grieving
And when a heart breaks, no it don't breakeven, even, no