Tuesday, May 24, 2011

The post where I get all scientific on you...or not

I'm a scientist. Yup, I have the whole white coat and everything. No, I don't have a pocket protector or the black framed glasses. Can we focus, please?? Thanks. My thought process is very analytical. This annoys my A.D.D. husband, as he would rather act than analyze, but that is neither her nor there. I tend to think of everyday things in terms of sciency (it's totally a word) things I already know. Take for instance, "The law of conservation of mass".  Crap, I knew I'd lose some of you to boredom, but I promise there is an applicable point here. This law implies that mass (aka: the amount of matter in an object) can't be created or destroyed, only rearranged. This law also applies to energy. I'm thinking of introducing a new theory that this law also applies to sleep.

I've been talking to my friends, many of them moms and I have noticed a general pattern. When one of us gets a good night's sleep, someone else was up all night, or at least a few times. We all have children of different ages, so it isn't like we're all in newborn phase where lack of sleep should be expected. Just in a small circle of 3 of us this law seems pretty consistent. Even if I don't take my friends' sleep, or lack thereof, into account I have plenty of instances where the universe rearranges my sleep.

Case in point. Arielle has been sick. She realized that, when she was sick and cried, we came in right away and picked her up. She woke up 8 times and 5 times on 2 consecutive nights. The next couple of nights she woke once or super early in the morning so my sleep was still interrupted. Last night I begged the universe for my children to sleep past 6am. I didn't hold out much hope but, sure enough, Arielle didn't wake up in the night and slept until 6:25 this morning. So I slept right?? Nope. The universe just couldn't let that happen. Instead of waking up to the cries of my child I was woken up by the sound of the garbage truck at 4:40am. Then to add insult to injury my husband, who doesn't usually snore, was sawing logs and I never really went back to sleep.

Sleep. It cannot be created or destroyed, only rearranged. You heard it here first.


  1. I have one word for you Kam, Melatonin. It works like a charm, does not make you so sleepy that you cant wake up in the morning or in the middle of the night (say there is an emergency, god forbid) and it natural. Oh wait, you are the scientist, so you probably have a better handle on the science behind sleep aides...then say, I do. However, I live by it as it is the only way I can sleep through the night...thank god I don't have kids, right?

  2. I'd like to know who the lucky bastard is that is reaping the benefits of all my "rearranged" sleep!

  3. Very true. If we could find the culprit, we could certainly rewrite the equation, tipping more in favor of ourselves, and trading off on the men for a few generations.
    ALso, let's look into this whole "never sleep as a young child but sleep nonstop when teenagers" thing too. There is work to be done. First step is identifying the problem.

  4. Preach it sister!

    (And somehow, does this particular law especially apply to moms, but somehow exclude the male gender???)

  5. I'm fully convinced that once you become a mom, you give up all hopes of sleeping like you once did. I'm such a light sleeper now!

  6. That early morning begging...ugh...please please please God just make them sleep another hour. I'm going to die if I don't sleep..please, God, are you listening? Help. Me.

    Also, Sara - they sleep more as teenagers for the same reasons babies are so cute. So we don't throw them out the window. If they're asleep as teenagers they're not back talking and looking at us like we're the dumbest person to ever walk the earth.

  7. Is it time for a day off while the kiddos go to daycare, so you can catch some extra zzzzzz's?

  8. i concur. that's all i have to say about that.


What you talkin' bout Willis??